I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
