I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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