Banned from zoo.
Again?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
