i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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