Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
