Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
