DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
