I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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