Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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