i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
