Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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