Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize