Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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