dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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