i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
