We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
