I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
