RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
