: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
