and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize