apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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