idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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