sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
