So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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