take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i've created a new STD.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
