I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
