I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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