Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
