Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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