AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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