what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
