i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
