It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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