somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
