i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
