She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
