Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize