My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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