great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
