Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
