The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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