fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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