yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
