did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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