I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
