problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
