Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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