I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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