im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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