Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
