I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
