you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
