You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
