he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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