What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
