If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
