question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize