I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
