Someone shit on the floor
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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