Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
