The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
