She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
