oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i now understand why vodka
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
