I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
